"I'm Never Drinking Again" - The Guide to Getting Through the Morning After
Saturday night I went out.
I had tequila and champagne. [I know, I was asking for it]. I went to a professional event and a friend's after party. I honestly do not remember much, but I can tell you that I woke up to puzzle pieces of my life scattered everywhere. My apartment was a mess, my keys were gone, and what's worse is I could not remember what I had done or said the night before. I had seen almost everyone from the Black legal community at this event [so you KNOW I was concerned].
Sunday, I was in bed and missed appointments, meet ups, and deadlines [I overbooked myself]. I was dehydrated and felt like I was dying. I received texts from friends about my antics (I only offended one #ThankGod). I was in bed disappointed in myself. Just as pitiful. While, all my friends told me: "Courtnie, calm down girl! You're young! This is what you're supposed to do!" The control freak-keep it together-Perfect Patty Courtnie felt like her life was in disarray. If you're anything like me, you'll appreciate this guide to getting through the morning after:
1. Don't Think About It Too Much.
I beat myself up over and over again. I thought about what others might think of me. I was thinking of all the possible scenarios where I could have made a fool of myself, how I could have carried myself in a more lady-like fashion, when I should have stopped drinking. You know what's true about all those thoughts? I literally could change nothing. The damage was done. I committed my Sunday to replaying those thoughts and the guilt on loop. I was torturing myself. The control freak could NOT let go of the fact that I had let myself go. First things first, when you wake up and you have time to process, don't take yourself on multiple guilt trips. Repent, ask for forgiveness (from God and your friends), and let that sh*t go, girl.
2. Confide in your GOOD girlfriends. [Blow up their phones until they answer]
The second thing I did was confide in good friends. The key word in the preceding sentence was "good." These are people I can tell my deepest darkest secrets to. People who would not judge me, but would also say "Girl! Get it together!" One of my friends literally cried-laughing at my antics when I told her - so therapeutic (Ebony). The other asked me "Okay Courtnie, what did you learn from all of this?" - so needed (Neshah) Talk out EVERY DIRTY DETAIL to someone who will help you organize your thoughts. Vocalizing what is going on between your ears and in your emotional space will help you to release what it is that has you troubled. It will bring you out of your wallowing and help matriculate you back into real life.
3. Drink Water. And Eat Heavy Food. [Even if you don't feel like it]
Get out of bed. Drink water and eat heavy food. Go back to sleep. Repeat.
4. Take the Steps to Fix "It" [Whatever "It" Is]
So in the process of getting lit, I apparently was mean to a friend [yikes]. Thankfully, the damage wasn't too bad, but it's important to acknowledge your "wrong" even if you don't remember it. Again, I remember nada. But instead of getting defensive or being passive, I owned it and apologized. [I hate deep discussion], but make it right with that friend. Additionally, make time to cancel your debit card, if you lost it. Make plans to copy your spare keys, if you lost your original. Call uber/the club and get your purse back. Once you handle the first 3 steps, get a grip, pretend to be Olivia Pope [if it helps] and handle damage control. Put out the fires so that you can get back to being the healthy, whole, (sober) kickass you!
5. Laugh At Yourself.
Your life isn't over. A lot can happen in one night, but you will survive this. Laugh at yourself. When you're 55, and you're boring with kids, you'll laugh at the time you got drunk at the company dinner and stood on the table shouting the lyrics to "March Madness." [I had to binge-watched "Chewing Gum" on Netflix to laugh out loud].
